my mental health during the last few weeks of 2020
Hi, it's me again. How have you been? I can't believe that this wild year is already nearing its end - how and when did this happen? I'm not complaining because this year has been a tough one for us all I imagine, but I, along with many others, am feeling a whole load of emotions as we enter the new year. Let's talk about that.
I'm currently listening to 'Love You 'Till the End' by The Pogues, not linked to this blog post at all but thought I'd mention it. This morning, I took 10 minutes to sit down to write in my journal, and reflect.
Some questions that I asked myself are:
- What have I learned this year?
- Has 2020 made me a better person?
- What goals do I want to achieve?
- What goals have I already achieved?
- How am I feeling mentally? (Right now, a bit like Michael Scott in this photo)
- Have I done enough to better myself?
At the end of November, I finally took the decision to delete Instagram, not just deactivate, but delete it completely (I will do a whole other blog post on this soon). This had been on my mind for several months but the urge to keep scrolling and double-clicking on pictures was just too strong for me to overcome. Eventually, I decided it was time for me to put myself first and to stop allowing technology to peel away at my self-esteem and self-worth. Has it been the best decision of my life? I'd say so. Along with Instagram, I also deleted TikTok, for pretty much the same reasons.
Having so much spare time on my hands meant that I had hours to spend on things that a) I actually enjoy, b) will benefit my mental health, c) won't make me feel guilty. Some of the things I leisurely enjoyed in my new-found free time were reading, facetiming friends, focusing on growing my work, getting back into yoga, eating better, and enjoying the simple things more. It's starting to sound as if life was beautiful again, well yes it was, at times, but deleting social media didn't mean that my mental health would be perfect all of a sudden too. I had my bad days, and still do, but they come and go much less frequently than they used to. When I feel low, I instantly either grab my journal, or put on my favourite Japanese TV show. It's the little things in life.
Christmas was definitely a weird one this year. Plans were made by everyone, and those plans were turned upside down with the UK Governments announcement just a few days before the festivities. This hit me, but I totally understood why it had to happen. Me, my parents, and my younger sister spent a quiet Christmas at home, watching Disney movies, staying in our Christmas pj's and cooking up a huge feast that night. Was your Christmas different than usual too? Here we are now - 3 days away from 2021. I'm feeling a mix of anxiety, hope, faith, fear, excitement, motivation, and stress. Anybody else? I, as well as so many, were hoping that Covid-19 would be a thing of the past by now, but I guess we were too hopeful. I have hope that things will clear next year and things will return to a new kind of normal. As usual, I've had a bit of a ramble and probably gone off track, but that sums up my mental state, organised chaos. I hope you all have a simple and refreshing start to the new year.
Stay safe and take care.